Thursday, December 15, 2011

Year in Review.. Lucia's perspective

It's usually about this time of year I start thinking about a review of what we did this year, but as I thought of what we did for the year my memory went something like this:

January: Mysterious aches and pains increase while all else fogs into bare minimum survival

February: " "

March: " "

April: " "
(this is a little twilight New Moon-ish isn't it?)
Athen turns 3!

May: Diagnosis of Rheumatoid arthritis, and beginning of steroids, weekly low-dose chemo pills, and just like that my body becomes a hazardous environment for any living thing, so, no more babies folks, but hope in sight for those awful joints!
Lincoln turns 1!
Diego turns 5!

June: Jason leaves to summer internship in NYC, mom comes to help for the summer. Trip to Iowa!

July: Jason spends my birthday weekend home!

August: Jason is home for good! Linlcoln and I get the cozy job of escorting Grandma back to San Diego where Grandpa is waiting for her.

September: Diego's first day of kindergarten. Lucia's first Humira injection (fancy!)

October: Brooklyn's Birthday

November: Thanksgiving in Buffalo
December: Christmas! YAY!!!

So... as you can see I have been distracted this year, it was a tough year, and I can't think of any way to describe the shock of it other than comparing it to the first few days/weeks after labor where you shutter at the thought of going through that physical trauma again. Removed from the daze of survival mode, it's still terror-inducing to imagine another such year. However, the fact that I am indeed removed from that survival mode means I have LOTS to be thankful for! What a relief to be on the upswing and functioning again. So many others are not so lucky with their trials, and that fact has really sobered me on those days where I just needed to get over it, get over myself already! It's cliche to say, but so true that when I look at the trials of many others compared to my own, I couldn't imagine trading. I feel like mine is an easy, minuscule, watered down version of the challenges so many other's face. I am so so so blessed! So, while my memories are still recovering from shock, I can't think of this as a bad year. How can it be bad, when everything is so good? But I do think we might have better luck and more accuracy of the details if Jason posted what actually happened this year!

Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you.

Harold B. Lee