Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A much needed recap...

Wow, has it really been a month since I posted? Luckily, my last post mentioned morning sickness, so i'm sure you understand where I have been all month! Well, here's the run down of what I remember of what you missed:

Last weekend some gals and I all went to Time Out for Women in Salt Lake, and it was a BLAST!
We had so much fun at the conference, and just as much fun hanging out all the time to, from, and in between!
The weekend before that, we were in charge of a Luau at church, which turned out great and from which I still have decorations stacked 2' high on my kitchen table, and a bunch of tablecloths to iron.

This next picture is from the day brooklyn INSISTED on having her hair straightened, though it a little hard to see, it was cute, and she was excited about having "long hair"

And before that, Halloween! Jason needed a wizard hat and beard for work, and we could NOT find one anywhere, so we made one. Although, on my dad, it looks more like the Travelocity gnome! As you can see, my parents came for halloween, which was such a nice treat! It gave me time to whip up a peter pan costume for Diego, since Brooklyn was Tinkerbell. Athen was the little brother that's always in PJs and carrying a bear, but it was not quite enough of a costume so we opted for an adorable borrowed pumpkin suit instead.

(this was the best picutre I could get out of them, funny huh? Pretend Brooklyn's hands are not across her face, and imagine Diego's peter pan hat on his head instead of behind his back. Oh, and you can't even see the awesome little green boot covers on diegos little feet!)

I still haven't put away costumes yet either, but hopefully it will all get done soon because we go on vacation next week, then it's the christmas RUSH! Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Oh yeah, and we have an ultrasound on Thursday to figure out an exact due date, and by the guesses, we might even get a peek at the gender! Cross your fingers for the latter!

Monday, October 12, 2009

"Time marches on...

... and at some point you realize it's marching across your face" (hey, name that quote)

Well, actually my face feels fine, it seems to be marching across my gag reflex. But still, life continues and here's our top 5 of what we've been up to:

5. Babysitting the preschool tarantuala, Webby. Brooklyn REALLY wanted me to take it out so she could pet him... no thanks, not even with the protective oven mits they sent home for that purpose. I'll gladly let the preschool teachers trump me in bravery.

4. Brooklyn and Diego telling EVERYONE that there's a baby in my tummy.

3. Babysitting Snowy, the class rabbit. So cute. I think I enjoyed him almost as much as the kids.

2. Brooklyn's BIRTHDAY! A new bike and gum ball machine at the crack of dawn. Gusher fruit snacks for her preschool friends. A tinker bell costume with her birthday money. Pizza, wings, root beer floats for dinner. Chuck e Cheese to play, and a tradgic heartbreak averted when chucky made an announcement over the loudspeaker that he would be out to celebrate the "Birthday stars" but bypassed her for someone elses very expensive and official birthday celebration, even though he "knows it's my birthday, he sent me a birhtday email for free tokens" The heartbreak pouring from her eyes nearly brought me to tears, not Jason though. $20 from daddy's wallet later, bingo, out comes Chucky with a birthday star crown, medal, and some TLC.

1. Athen started nursery, and loved being able to follow Diego around and charm a whole new audience. Although, now that we don't have a toddler to distract us, Jason and I need to re-learn how to pay attention in Sunday School.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

You know what this means, don't you?

My camera needs to be charged, so this will have to do, but it's exactly what it looks like!
You know what that means right?



I know, it's ridiculously exciting!

Monday, September 21, 2009

When I look at the stars...

At the end of a lazy day, I was feeling physically and mentally exhausted looking on the mess that had only become worse than earlier that morning when I initially decided I didn't want to clean it, after what seemed like only a few short hours since the last time it was clean.
Sleepy @ 9:30 pm: Not a good time to evaluate my self worth, and muse on the idea of possible failure in the grand scheme of things. "By their fruits ye shall know them" and yesterdays fruit was rotten. I was rotten at this life of mine.
Out of sheer frustration and desperation to escape from this YUCKY train of thought, and REALLY not wanting to wake up to it in the morning, I began picking up the floor.

Toys to the toy room.
Clothes to the laundry mountain.
"What's wrong, Lucia?" Jason asks. "Nothing, I just... nothing."
Trash to the bin- nope, too full, that would have to wait.
Books to the buckets.
A refreshing encouragment from a prophet in my memory: "Don't dwell on negative thoughts"
Camping chairs to the closet.
About a dozen mismatched shoes to another closet
Dishes to the overflowing sink.
More stray toys, books and laundry.
A whiny prayer in my heart:"I'm failing, I know I shouldn't dwell on negative thoughts about myself. I don't want to be cleaning this house. I don't want to feel this way. Please help. I just..." trilailing off into nothing because my whining just feels like an excuse. "Will You help me please, I need to get this done, and I need to feel better. Okay, i'll just take this trash out first"
Apple Jacks swept into a pile next to the the trash can.
Lift the trash bag out of the bin and shake it down to make room for the new additions.
Tie up the bag and take it outside.
Wow, those stars are beautiful. The sky is so peaceful- and always so fresh and clean. Maybe Jason and I should just go lay out on the grass under these pretty stars for a minute. No, that's not really his way. "Ask him." Maybe i'll just ask him, maybe something inside him will tell him I could use a break from my thoughts.
"Let's go out on the grass and watch the stars, just for 10 minutes?"
"Sure, you get the blanket, i'll get dressed" -yup, he IS amazing, how did I not know that?

As we lounged on a cotton sheet, in breeze of fresh cool air, making pictures in the stars, and creatures in the clouds, I felt the burden lifted, my thoughts refreshed. Reminded of the love of my sweetheart, and the Love of God that sheddeth itself abroad unto the hearts of the children of men... and a silly, self-concious, tired woman. And I savored the peace that flavored this fruit, growing in abundance from the Tree of Life, this love of God. Peace in your body and your spirit at the same time, enough to wash through and remove anything else. Yes, Nephi was right. Most desirable.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Preschool has finally arrived!

Brooklyn LOVES her new Preschool! Her world revolves around what happens during those 2.5 hours and it is so fun to hear her talk about it!

Diego is enjoying the one on one mommy time, but is always ready to wake Athen up from his nap so we can go pick up "Brookly"

I do NOT love walmart.

So, over the past few years we have tried to trim Walmart off our list of necessary errands, and just get stuff elsewhere. It's the same old anti-Walmart stuff: destroying small town business, the cheap overseas workforce and the faces of those young adult workers basicaly slaving away their lives so I can buy socks for $1.50 less, or their irresponisible employment practices, you know, same old complaints. Don't get me wrong, I'm no expert, but I just can't get over the feeling that I'm hand-feeding a blood-thirsty beast when I shop there. Okay, that's overly dramatic, it's not that graphic, but I simply do prefer to shop elsewhere, especially considering how mind numbing walking into that gigantic place is, and the high likleyhood that I will spend a portion of the trip wandering aimlessly, having forgotten what I was supposed to be looking for, and too distracted by clearance tags to notice!
So anyways, today I found myself there again, after a few months absence, and what's even more torturous than the fact that I was there, was that the stuff I bought was SO much cheaper. ARG!
The $37 protien shake powder was out, and I couldn't stomach getting it again (especially since you pay all that money and when you open it, it is only about 40% full! What is that about?).
But at Wallyworld, the stuff is $11- ish, and you get MORE. Are you kidding me?
And then there was the wickless candle wax, just like my EXPENSIVE scentsy stuff, for $2.88

We don't even need to go into my personal favorite, Vlasic Kosher Dill Pickles.

It's like an unhealthy relationship. Dependant on something you are catagorically opposed to.

Okay, well, enough of that, but I just had to get that off my chest.
Sorry workers in Malaysia, I caved.

Monday, August 31, 2009

The Contest!

Well, I told you guys about the ccontest I was in right? Well it was last friday, and it was fun! We arrived a little early just in case it was a mad house, but it was totally relaxed!First item of business was getting my name into the Golden Drum, then onto the activities. There was a bounce house for the kids, and lots of food, and sugary drinks, and local mini-celebrities like Miss Utah, the Grocery Guru,the radio station DJ, and the guy that owns Colosimo Sausages. Not to mention 40+ people hoping to win the $5000 in groceries for the year!
Can you believe we were the ONLY people with signs??? Come on people, this is a YEAR of groceries for goodness sake!!

So... in goes Miss Utah's hand, and out comesthe name of....

this very excited guy from Clearfield :

He was GENUINELY overjoyed, and although we didn't win the grand prize, it was sweet to see!
Congrats, whoever you are!

And no worries guys, I still made out like a bandit with all this free stuff:

1 t-shirt
2 boxes of Fat Boy ice cream desserts
1 package of golf balls
1 pack of spicy sausages
1 gallon of milk
1 tub of cottage cheese
1 SWEET trapper keeper thing (I am not kidding when I say this thing is sweet, it has built in speakers! and comes prestocked with coupons, and various couponing supplies like scissors, hole punch, etc)
$50 Maceys gift card

not to mention, two weeks of excitement!

THANK YOU MACEYS!!! (and Fat Boy, and Colosimos, and Meadow Gold ) :o)

Hey did I tell you that Jason entered in hoped of me getting TONS of junk email, as part of our on going email war... haha... he's nice even when he's TRYING to be mean. I love that guy.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Everything is an Apple.

Athen says:

"Dee-go" for Diego
"wa-wa" for drinks
"bella" for the babies that live by us

and for anything that looks delicious to him, he refers to as "Apple!"

BTW, the voice you are hearing is my older sister, not me. How's that for similar genetics?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

What's new with us? Oh, just the same 'ol ...wait, it's totally NOT the same 'ol stuff!

Why is it that I can never think of what's actually new with me when someone asks?And then 2 minutes later actually think about the question and realize A LOT is new! So in case you've asked "What's new?" and I have ansered "Oh, nothing." It is a lie, here's what's new:

- We found out Jason is Diabetic so we have spend more time than I care to remember wandering confused around the grocery store, but equally as much time, I am HAPPY to note, incorporating very healthy food, and plenty of exercise into our daily routine. I am so proud of Jason, he has been SUPER vigilent about his health and is doing great. Ths time next year, he will probably be the poster boy for healthy diabetics! (I only say next year because it will probably take the ADA that long to find him and have him on an actual poster)

- We had a mini car drama when we found out on saturday afternoon that our tags expired 4 months ago. Can you belive we didn't notice that? What's more amazing than going four months without anyone noticing is getting pulled over twice the same day for it. So we took it to get it registered ( yes, we got pulled over on the way to Jiffy Lube) and it failed the safety inspection. Luckily, I managed to get it to the next mechanic for the fix-its without any police presence. So, a few hundred dollars later our favorite transportation will be up and around again. This all seems pretty insignificant looking back, but I was quite beside myself saturday evening. I should really learn not to be such a spazz.

- The time for our grad school search is coming to a close and we still have NO idea where we will be in fall '10. Colorado? Michigan? North Dakota (Fargo... even the name sounds frigid, and we'll probably end up there just because I said that out loud. LOL) Vermont? Minnesota? Ohio?

Jason did the top rank- top price degree for his Masters, and this time around I think we are leaning more toward the little letters behind his name without the big $$$ added to our student loan debt. But who knows, maybe a few bigger schools will still be in the running.

- I guess anything else I put at this point would be just fishing for interesting news, but all is well with the kids, preschool starts in a few weeks, and we will be entering foreign territory of afternoons without Brooklyn. Before you know it, she'll be in college. Diego still doesn't understand he's not going, and Athen wont care, except that rough housing with Diego will be a far cry from playing Babies with Brooklyn.

- OH WAIT! I almost forgot! I won some coupons, and get to be a finalist (1 of at least 50) in a $5,000 grocery shopping spree drawing this friday!! I can't begin to wrap my mind around the prospect of wnning, but am surely enjoying the excitement of it- and hey, FREE COUPONS! Wish us luck, and don't be suprised if your christmas presents next year are groceries :o)

So now I ask... What's REALLY new with you??

Saturday, August 08, 2009

ABCs of me

I love reading your posts for stuff like this TAG, but if you have overdosed on tags lately, this is yet another one, so feel free to click "mark as read" on your reader.

ABCs info about me

- Age: 25
B - Bed size: King
C - Chore you hate: washing dishes AFTER they've been through the dishwasher
D - Dog: someday... already trained.
E - Essential start your day item: glass of water
F - Favorite color(s): always changes
G - Gold or Silver: each in their place
H - Height: 5'11 ish
I - Instruments you play: piano, guitar both poorly
K - Kids: 3 - and more someday
L - Living arrangements: 3 bed. apartment in old brick house
M - Mom's name: Jennie Sue
N - Nicknames: Guadalupe
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: no
P - Pet Peeve: Useless junk that renders an otherwise good movie unwatchable.
Q - Quote from a movie: "Sink Me!" -Scarlet Pimpernel

R - Right or left handed: right
S - Siblings: 3 sisters, 3 sis-in-laws, 2 brothers, 2 brother-in-laws
T - Time you wake up: 8, sometimes later
U - Underwear: The best kind.
V - Vegetable you dislike: canned peas
W - Workout style: random at best
X - X-rays you've had: fingers, teeth, leg, I don't remember any more.
Y - Yesterday's best moment: Late night guitar practice with Laureen in my kitchen also, shopping with the gals from my ward and the Grocery Guru and spending $29 for a weeks worth of groceries.
Z - Zoo favorite: San Diego!

I Tag EVERYONE!! I want to read yours!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

All I want for christmas...and next christmas... and the next

Are her two front teeth!

Brooklyn took a fall into Diego's hard cranium and now her two front teeth have a case of the wiggles. No bleeding and not much pain, but they are definitely loose. The dentist's office said since they are baby teeth, there's not really anything to do but hope they tighten up, or pull them if they get discolored.

YIKETH! Poor Brooklyn might THpend the next couple yearTH wiTHing for her teeth to come in THo her liTHp can go away.

Time will tell...

Friday, July 24, 2009

My shopping spree!

I have always liked my mommy-in-law. First off, she brought about my really great husband and gets eternal props for that. However, less than 48 hours after we met, she took us to Disneyland (without even knowing how much I LOVE Disney, for that matter) , making our marriage feel more like the publishers clearing house sweepstakes.

So here we are, almost 6 years later, and the spoling continutes. Last week, she sent me a JCPennys birthday certificate which has been burning a hole in my pocket pretty much since it left my mailbox. Yesterday, I even did a dress reheasal, so to speak, on just to scope out the territory. The thought occured to me this morning to let that lovely little card remain on my fridge as a weight loss incentive- GREAT IDEA!! But too bad, so sad, I'm just not that patient and my $10 off coupon expires tommorow, so off I went while Jason spent his day off chasing the kiddies.

Anyways listen to all the stuff I got for LESS than $50 (about $3 less, any ideas what to do with the last little bit?) :

- A great pair of jeans that are actually long enough!
- A nice little black blouse (made out of t-shirt material, so cute AND comfy)
- A patterned silky blouse
- Some chocolate trousers
- A purple wrap-around shirt, reminiscant of my long lost favorite shirt of all time that met it's end back in '03.

I'm pretty sure the $29 jeans, and the $17 purple shirt were the most I have ever spent for jeans and a shirt, so my inner clearance addict doesn't want to take them from the hanger on the off chance that I might find something just as good for much less in future days, but even still, I loved* my day!

* Love (luv): v. strong like, not in any way resembling the feverish obsession of a shopoholic, for example.

Oh, who am I kidding, I LOVE a good bargain. My tombstone will probably read:

Lucia Ratliff
Found this
for 75% off.

Monday, July 06, 2009


So, I always try to turn on some music to do chores (it seems to drown out my inner spoiled brat of a little princess that is aghast at the idea of ' moi' being required to do manual labor, and overall helps me feel less blimin' cantankerous!) Anyways... so today, however, I'm following my 1 year-old's good example and enjoying a little dance break, because I mean, really :

Dance first?

Clean first?

I am not devoid of priorities here people. Obviously, we dance!

Here is Athen getting his mini groove on, eating an otter pop off the floor (YUM), and making a great face at the extreme temp. change in his mouth, and since I don't have the ability to edit the video, you also get an in depth close up of his noggin. Lock up you baby girls folks, this kid is as SMOOTH as his own bottom, and as cool as the other side ofthe pillow!
You know how we roll.

Okay, off to clean up from a fun holiday weekend. Happy Monday everybody.

Monday, June 29, 2009

On the mend

We have been blessed to have this influenza thing easy with only Jason and Diego suffering real symptoms, and all of us on Tamiflu to treat/preempt the flu. Poor Diego had some chest aches that gave all of us a scare, but after a chest x-ray and EKG, all was found to be normal and we are on the mend, looking like doctors courtesy of AF Hospital's mandatory face mask policy . No lingering aches or pains to speak of, except for our stunned pocketbook after the expense of Tamiflu ($87 x 5 people = ouch!) and you can bet we will be getting a bill from the hospital for the x-ray and EKG, but we're not too upset since you can't really put a price on a health.

So all in all: we are fine, but I wish we would at least get Pandemic '09 shirts or something cool to show for it!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

We have been incubating...

Influenza is circling our neighborhood, and with the rise in the swine flu, the doctors are treating all the flu cases like H1N1 . We had a fun week, and played with some neighbors all day for 3 days before they found out their baby had influenza. Considering that fact that Athen had been loving on his best baby friend all day, and sharing half eaten strawberries with him, I was pretty sure we were exposed. We stayed home for 6 days, to play it safe with the 4-5 day incubation period, but apparently, it wasn't long enough because today, day 9: Diego woke up with the first symptom, the dreaded high fever *Dum dum dum!*

So, here we go. Forgive me if you don't see me for a while. I'm really hoping we never find out if it is actually the "Swine Flu" since they only run that test if you have to be hospitalized. Meanwhile, what does this up the ward count to Jessie? Are we at like 10th family?

Monday, June 01, 2009

Watermelon in the strawberry patch... and other weekend fun!

Diego has been telling people about the watermelons growing in our garden, which seemed a little tragic to me since those plants were the some of the first casualties of our garden this year (second only to the poor little cucumber plants, and soon to be followed by the carrots I am afraid) So as part of the shower of little birthday festivities for Diego, we bought a watermelon and put it in our garden where the watermelon plant used to be. (Well, it was meant for his birthday, but if you know me, you might have guessed that I could not wait for his birthday so we did it the evening before.) I asked him to go out to the garden and see if there were any strawberries or watermelons we could have for dessert, while the rest of us watched his excitement from the porch, and what show! He was so excited that I gave him this important mission, and even more excited a few minutes later when he finally noticed it! It was my favorite part of the weekend, but with such a fun weekend, there are some other little tidbits that I can't leave out:

-Diego opened a new toy train and Brooklyn said, "Wow Diego, it is Thomas!" to which Diego replied, "Yeah!! Thomas S. Monson!" Brooklyn told him it was Thomas the tank engine, but Diego seems to prefer calling the little blue train Thomas Monson, and has been calling it that all weekend. Too funny!

- A friend of mine pointed out that Diego loves clocks, which is true, although I have never really noticed until she pointed it out. We got him a little plastic Spiderman watch and he has LOVED it!

- We played at a friend's water birthday party, at which they very thoughtfully added Diego's name to the birthday song. A water party with friends was a PERFECT middle for his day!

- We had ice cream!

- He open presents throughout the day, whenever we had a dull moment. It was fun to scatter the festivities throughout that day.

- Our neighbors, the Leckies came over with birthday surprises for Diego.

- Our other neighbors came over to have a last meal with us before they move to Japan. Jason made delicious Zuppa Tuscana, and the kids got to play, for the last time, with this sweet young couple that they LOVE .

- The afore mentioned sweet young couple brought water ballons for Diego so we played water balloon toss after dinner. A BLAST!!!

- We ended the day with a nice walk to share the leftovers and recipe with some Olive Garden loving friends.

In other, non-essential news, my neighbor fixed my straightener, which has been broken for a YEAR. HOORAY!!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

check out the DO!

To say I like positive feedback as much as the next guy is true,
.... Unless that "next guy" happens to be Jason, in which case, he appreciates it MUCH more than I do. I've been brushing up on Chapman's Love Languages today and remembering that Jason is totally a "Words of Affirmation" type of fellow. So, keep that in mind for this next post, and feel free to leave lots of comments, since they go right to his inbox as well as mine!

And now, the many hair stylings of Jason

Jason has been downright anxious for me to post these pictures! He has been growing out his hair for quite some time for lack of a good barber, but he found a couple months back and got this tapered fro (which looks a little like the sillouhette of "Squidward" to me, or a fish bowl or something ...hehe, Jason is so entertaining!),

and after some more length accrued he got CORN ROWS or, as Brooklyn likes to call them, Carrot Rows! If you ask Diego, Daddy just got a "looooong haircut"He kept them for a week an a half, and then was tired of them, but it was cool anyways. Way cooler than the first time he got cornrows (which was in our first year of marriage, and I almost didn't recognize him, and it kind of freaked me out at first) . This was kind of fun, especially because he was so excited to get them.

But the greatest part was taking them out because of this AWESOME fro-hawk!

and this very pooofy hair...

And my personal favorite, these lucious little curlies the next day! People always ask my how Brooklyn got her curls, and are amazed when I say it is from Jason. I guess most people don't realize the Jason's fro is just SOOO curly that it would have to be significatly relaxed to be straight enough to produce ringlets. Two weeks of being held straight in braids is enough relaxing to produce ringlets about 1/8 the size of Brooklyn's tight curls. I just loved playing with his little strands of hair that stuck straight out and looked like they had been curled around a bobby pin. The picture does not do it any justice, but I hope you enjoyed the FRO 101 in any case.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

On babies

A friend mentioned that they'd like to have baby, but can't afford one. It was then that someone else said that if you wait until you have enough, you'll be waiting forever because very few people ever feel like they have enough, they also mentioned that this particular friend really will be an awesome mommy. Of course, I think every couple needs to decide for themselves when is the right time to do something that big and important, but I also think there is a lot of wisdom in the latter comment. (And yes, she will be a great mommy too!)

Burden or Blessing

I wanted to tell my friend how wonderful children are, and how you would never say, while snuggling that precious little bundle, "You are pretty cute, but if I could do it again, I think I would prefer a bigger apartment, or maybe a newer car." It makes me laugh just to muse at that, it's just so ridiculously out of the question. I am reminded of when I was in the hospital with Athen, my third baby. I was in physical shambles after a routine C-section, and I could not even sit up on my own to get out of the hospital bed to go to the bathroom, let alone take care of a little baby, and particularly not while I was chasing the two toddlers that waited at home.

"What were we thinking?" I asked myself. "There is no way I can handle this much more work on top of the responsibilities I already have. Just because I can make a baby, does that mean I should have?" etc. etc.

You know how the mind works. When you give one little nagging thought an "open mic" so to speak, you've turned on a noise that will be multiplied and amplified to deafening levels. Well, anyways, I was mulling over all these things, and feeling pretty terrible in the early hours of the morning and for the hours preceding General Conference, which came on the hospital TV mid-morning. (That's twice now that I have had babies at conference time, and boy is that great timing, let me tell you! )

" Okay then, Heavenly Father. Since You like to address concerns and answer the questions Your children need answered by way of your prophet and apostles, then fine, try to answer this impossible situation," I half-heartedly, and not very reverently prayed as the music began.

I barely remember what anyone said. I remember feeling grateful for what was said. There seemed to be little tidbits of answers that uplifted me, though I'd have to look at my notes to recall anything specific from the half a dozen, maybe more, talks I heard that morning. I do, however, distinctly remember something else. It was that last talk, so it was our prophet, Thomas S. Monson speaking. He quoted a scripture, something that the Savior said as I recall,

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I shall give thee rest..."

Yes, that hope filled docrtine, coupled with a dose of love and a testimony boost that this was REALLY a prophet of God, and the things he spoke were not only good, but true (this feeling coming via the Holy Ghost, naturally) was especially soothing to my soul, and then the prophet continued to speak, only the words from his mouth were not the words I heard in my head. I remember the initial surprise when the phrase in my head seemed to continue clear and unbroken, but did not match what was coming in my ears from the television, though it still seemed like the same source. "Whoa, this is the Holy Ghost," I recognized, quickly squelching the surprise so I could pay attention. The words continued and though I don't recall them all right now, my jumbled memory remembers these, or the gist of these:

" 'Where much is given, much is required', and the same holds true in reverse. If much is required of you, it doesn't mean it is a trial, it means you have been given much. The nature of a child is a blessing. You question if it was right for you to make this child? You did NOT make this child, I made this child, and I sent him here to you with full understanding of what would await him, and what it would mean for you. I'm taking care of you both. This is a rich blessing for, and nothing else, don't you forget that. And by the way, I love you."

It felt like a loving and merciful embrace, and a rebuke for my bad attitude all in one pretty package. It was so true.

I'm nothing more than a just a "lucky stiff" in this equation, and for that I am SO grateful.

How Many is TOO Many?
Oh gosh, I hope you don't expect me to have an answer to that heading. I just know that in my family, there were a lot of things we all did without, and some might attribute it to so many kids. I really don't know though. My sweet parents made their choices the best they could, like we all do. But I can say, and maybe this is just because I was the last, that although some of their most difficult and heart breaking financial stuggles came after I was born, I like to think that my family would consider that even if it was because of me, and I'm not sure that it was, but even if it was the case, that I was worth it. I hope that Heavenly Father sent me as a blessing too, and I hope my family would agree, and I hope that I don't just reap the benefits of their sacrifices, but that I can make their lives better too because I really love them a lot, and I'm so glad that they are my family.

Okay well, if you made it to the end of this long post, kudos to you, and goodnight. Thanks for your ear, or I guess your eyes in this case.

Monday, May 04, 2009

I'm a sucker for a good contest!

I joined a contest for a $25 gift card on a blog I follow ("Good or Free Deals" I just added a button on the bottom right of this page), and the only reason I'm telling you and decreasing my chances to win when you join too, is that I get an extra entry for doing so! Shameless, I know.

But really, if you win,you have to blog about it, so I get the warm fuzzies of knowing real people actually win these things.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Well, I had a very busy week with a trip to Idaho, the circus, illness, some yucky messes, a niece's birthday, playing with puppies, meeting a new niece, putting together a photobook, a walking baby, and missing Jason, but I have very little to show for it! So, you go ahead and imagine all the fun times and craziness while I imagine what my house would look like if I could muster the desire to put it all back together. Meanwhile, Jason is sick with some mysterious body aches and severe fatigue. I've nicknamed him PD. Pan-Demic, although without the fever or other symptoms, i'm pretty sure it is one of the million other viruses going around and keeping us from church today, yet again!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I mop my floors every day, and make homemade bread.

I'm a mom of 3 little ones who makes homemade bread and mops the floor every day.

HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!! No, seriously, ha ha ha!

Okay, now that we've all had a good laugh...

I guess I could say that statement dabbles in truth from a certain perspective. You see, my almost 3 year old drenches my floor almost daily. ARG! WATER!! I have a love hate relationship with H2O. Diego loves it unconditionally: in the bath, falling out of a cup, puddled on the kitchen floor, dripping into the cupboards under the sink, cascading down the front of his clothes, in a kiddie pool, splashing onto the bathroom floor from tub waves, from a sprinkler, at the beach, in the fountains at Sea World, from a pitcher, from a jerryrigged sprinkler (this one is a real gem, he covers the bathroom/kitchen faucet with his fingers to make a "SPRINKLER!"), from the water fountain at the park, from the inside of his mouth ("it's raining!")

Well, you get the point. These are getting funnier as I type them out. So anyways, I like water just fine, but my love is not nearly as all-encompasing as my little dude's. So, in truth, a portion of my floor gets mopped each day as my little one lovingly supplies the water, and the "dirties" supply a towel waiting to be washed for me to mop with. Wow, my homemaking skills estound me.

Meanwhile, the bread thing is true occasionally. More especially since Jason and I made a bread for dishes pact.
I make bread = Jason automatically does the dishes.
I like the simplicity of choosing which one I'd rather do. I like having an escape if I REALLY DO NOT feel like doing dishes. Heck, yesterday when I didn't want to do the dishes and didn't have to (because I had made bread that morning) it was so liberating that I really did mop my floors instead- no puddles to clean even. Go figure. On a side note, I've tried to find that same liberation in just deciding not to do the dishes until I *feel* like it, and that's not at all the same, it does about as much good as waving a fist at a rain cloud; it's still looming overhead, not so liberating!

Well, it's almost 10pm, and there was no breadmaking today, so I guess I'll go wash those dishes.

Friday, April 17, 2009

New video

I have been trying to catch Athen standing up on his own for weeks now, and I FINALLY got it! So here is his latest trick for all the grandmas and grandpas and aunties and uncles out there!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

You are about to be susan boyle's newest fan!

Have you seen this you tube video of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent yet? Well, you NEED to watch it! Right now would be an excellent time, so click on the link... wait, you might want to go get a tissue first. No really, we'll wait for you.

Okay. Are you back, and ready? Good. Now clickety click click click!

Clip of Susan Boyle

Wasn't that so great?? Hooray for going after your dreams!

We have a couple extra boys to play with today. The kids are at the age where they LOVE having friends over. My biggest amusement today is how Brooklyn, although she is definitely outnumbered, is still running the show. A minute ago she very sweetly instructed all of them to sit quietly on her bed, while she stood on the other side of the room and taught them a "music class" and they actually did it! Do you know anyone that can get a little boy to sit still for a lesson, let alone 3 little boys (Athen can't reach her bed yet, but he would have been there if he could, he is also totally wrapped around her finger) I am basking in the cuteness.... and slightly worried about future teenage years. Do you really want your 16 year old daughter to have an arsenal of boys? Yikes. Maybe we'll pray for acne :o)

Monday, April 13, 2009

What to do, what to do?

With more grad school in the planning stages, we've been measuring a lot of possibilities for various situations. For example:

Pro: Going to a great 3 year program in sunny southern California.
Con: a ton of student loans to afford the closest safe apartment and a long commute.

So many things to think about and the planning is almost dizzying, but what's really pressing on my nerves right now is this: What to do, what to do?And this:

I'd prefer a box of corn starch snowed into my living room over this right now. VASTLY prefer it. I keep hearing how patient other moms think I am, but a mess like this really erks me and is amplified by the HOURS I spend cleaning, sorting and undoing just such a mess just a few short days ago. Not that there's any evidence of that today.

So back to the main question of " what to do? "

Well, eventually I decided exactly what to do:

1. Make flowers, bugs, and shadow outlines with sidewalk chalk.
2. Fly a Lighting McQueen kite.
3. Sweep my steps.
4. And after 2 + hours outside, we went on a wagon ride to the park, but never made it past the kiddie pool in our friends front yard.

Can I just say, I LOVE Spring for avoiding the inside of my house. Now we're back, all cantankerous feelings dissipated, and I'm ready for a late nap and snuggle time with my kids.

*ah* Life is good.

Sometimes the sailor needs more calming that the storm does.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Athen's Birthday

It is hard to believe that Athen has been in our family for a year, and even harder to imagine our family without him. He is so pleasant and such a little peacemaker since his happy manners are absolutely infectious! We all just love him more than words can express! Happy Birthday baby!

You really can't turn 1 without getting free run of some cake!

Friday, March 27, 2009

In the clear!

I hope I didn't make you guys all worried about me all week over a couple bad days, but I just want to say THANK YOU SO much for all the kind thoughts and support! Your sweet comments have definitely brightened my days!

I love you GALS!

- Lucia

To: All my gal pals

This blog post is redeemable for one item of your pick to cheer you up on a bad day.

- Babysitting so you can get out (go to the temple, take a nap, etc)

-A shoulder to cry on

-A chick flick, to borrow, or watch together

-A play date for some "mom" company

WHATEVER you need, I am at your service!

EXP. DATE: never

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

TMI * warning: if you are a GUY, you SOOO do not what to read this!*

* So, I'm giving you fair warning that this post is GIRL stuff, and by "stuff" I mean ... you know... stuff! Not very many guys read this, but if you are a guy, seriously, just stop here because this is more than you EVER wanted to know about me *

Okay, now that the guys are gone, I am just venting about being a girl. So, since I got married almost 6 years ago, I have had a grand total of 4 monthly visits from you know who. I should write a thank you note to Pregnancy and Nursing for staving off "the curse" for so long! You would think that by my age, I would be used to it, but it is still totally traumatizing! Granted, the whole messyness is irritating and uncomfortable, but when combined with the hormonal rebalancing, well, "irritating" is a gross understatement. Do you know that I almost burst into tears in the produce section of the grocery store today? What for? That's an excellent question. For which I have no answer and I can't even remember what I was thinking other than that my house was messy, and appearently the fruits and veggies seemed like something to cry over? Or maybe, it was empathy for the produce since I was feeling like a FRUIT today, and it was not pleasant.

Well, I obviously can't get out of this since we don't have any babies in our immediate future so I'll just have to rebuild my "How to deal" arsinal of tricks for conquering this little emotional hurdle. *sigh* Oh well.
So here's what I've done so far:
- reading scriptures
- visiting teaching (always nice, but I was definitly more harm than good with my toddlers running a muck!)
- do something productive (went to the store- hence the produce drama)
- treats (this didn't help, actually I think the high sugars and fats made it worse since my only clean pants are already too snug, and I do not need more mood altering chemicals in my system!!- mental note: AVOID brownies! Plus, they were not even very delicious.)
- took the kids to a quiet park

Will you PLEASE tell me what you do to feel better when you're overwhelmed, or feeling *blah* about life in general! I'd love some more ideas!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

sunday slacker

I wish there was a way to skype in to church on the Sundays that my kids are sick! I think I have only averaged church like twice a month this winter. :oP I can't stand missing church- it throws the whole week off. Ah well, to everything there is the season, and with little kids, it is the season off drippy, germy noses.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I my gosh, you guys....

For the past week I have been LIVING in the world of twilight, and "holy crow" it has been so much fun! <--- Okay, isn't there punctuation stronger than an exclamation point here, because it has been ridiculously fun to read this series/saga/whatever you call it! (<-- oh, that's much better)
When I woke up in the middle of the night, I debated whether I should go back to sleep, or turn on the light and keep reading.
My shampoo just wouldn't rinse out fast enough, and the towel has got to be the SLOWEST way to dry off.
The water would not boil quick enough for the mac and cheese we had for lunch every day.
Snacking between meals was OUT of the question (not for the kids of course) because it was uneccesary time away from the book, what with the preparation and excessive hand washing to avoid the possibility of getting the book dirty. (but would you believe I lost 6 lbs this week from the Twighlight enduced dieting! funny huh?)
Meanwhile, the kids have loved having free rein of the toys all day, and my permanent presence on the toy room floor as their personal jungle gym/snuggle station.

*sigh* What a fun week!

Kudos to:
Tina for inviting me to see the movie, and then locating a copy of the book for me since I couldn't make it.
Christie for lending me twilight...
Amanda for letting me run over and borrow New Moon in the middle of the night, and...
Jessica for making a house call with the last two books!
and of course..
Stephanie Meyer for writing the awesome books, and ....

JASON for making me confused at all the "why can't all men be like edward?" comments I have heard/read. Isn't everybody's sweetheart that sweet?

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Athen's favorite game to play while I am blogging!

On a sober note...

The follwing is an excerpt from the LDS Gospel Art Kit:

"Mary Fielding Smith was left a widow when her husband, Hyrum, was killed with his brother the Prophet Joseph. She had to care for not only her own large family but also several other helpless or ill people. Hyrum and Mary’s son, Joseph F. Smith, who would later become the sixth President of the Church, was only five years old at the time.

Mary and her family left Nauvoo in 1846. Joseph, then seven, drove “one of the ox teams from Montrose [across the river from Nauvoo] to Winter Quarters,” which was about 200 miles (see Joseph Fielding Smith, comp., Life of Joseph F. Smith [1969], 131).

In the spring of 1848 most of the Saints were leaving Winter Quarters to travel to the Salt Lake Valley. Mary determined to go with them. She had no money, no oxen, and no provisions, but she relied on the Lord and managed to reach the starting point with seven “almost ready” wagons in her care. When the captain of the group to which Mary was assigned saw Mary’s situation, he told her she was foolish to attempt the journey. He said she would be a burden to the company the whole way. Mary calmly replied that not only would she not ask for his help but “that she would beat him to the Valley”! (Don Cecil Corbett, Mary Fielding Smith: Daughter of Britain [1966], 228).

And so the long journey began. Nine-year-old Joseph and his 15-year-old half brother John cared for the cattle and helped guide the huge oxen along the trail.

Despite hardships, it seemed Mary’s group would make it to the valley. Then one hot day, one of Mary’s best oxen collapsed. The wagons behind Mary’s were forced to stop. It looked as though the ox would die. The captain came and declared that the ox was dead. He said he would have to find a way to take that wagonload the rest of the way and that he had known all along Mary would be a burden.

But Mary’s faith never faltered; she “went to her wagon and returned with a bottle of consecrated oil. She asked her brother Joseph and James Lawson to administer to her fallen ox” (Corbett, Mary Fielding Smith, 237). So Joseph Fielding “knelt, laid his hands on the head of the ox … , and prayed over it.” When the prayer was finished, a moment passed; then, to the astonishment of the onlookers, the stiffened ox stirred, gathered his legs beneath him, stood, and “started off [pulling again] as if nothing had happened” (Corbett, Mary Fielding Smith, 237).

Not far from the end of the journey, some of Mary’s cows were lost. While her stepson John went to find the cattle, the captain ordered the rest of the company to move on. Mary waited for John and prayed he would be able to find their cows. Then a sudden rainstorm came, and the company that had moved ahead was thrown into confusion. The cattle scattered, and it took all day to round them up. Meanwhile, John had returned with the lost cows. The Smith party moved forward, past the rest of the company, and on into the valley.

Mary had kept her word. Her courage and faith had led her family across the plains and finally into the Salt Lake Valley, 20 hours in advance of the captain who had tried to discourage her."

I couldn't help but think of this story this weekend as we prayed over a washing machine. I'll spare the details of why this was such a big deal for us, but suffice it to say, it was the veritable straw to the camel's back. And when the washing machine came back to life- so to speak- yesterday, error codes gone and working great, I couldn't help but drop to my knees and pray.

I am thankful for this tender mercy.

"And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies."
1 Nephi 8:8


Bugga sent the kids a box of Chocolate lollipops, which they loved, of course!

Even Athen decided he needed one too, when I wasn't sneaking him a lick, the other kids were.

The funniest thing was that Athen was sure that anyone else eating one, meant they must have taken his away, so even when he had his own to hold, he would CRY and cry if I was eating one too. He has one in this picture, but is still sure I took his.

What? The zoo is free today?

Yes that's right, the zoo was free last Wednesday so we HAD to go! Here are some of the highlights!

Love that $1 train!

It was so much fun, and we got to see and play with everything we wanted before the rain started sprinkling down. The rain was perfect too, seeing as it gave me an easy explanation for why it was time to go home, even though it was time anyways. The fact that I did not have to be the villain that ruined the fun by saying its time to go was a definite plus!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Saturday is a special day..'s the day we get ready for Sunday, but along with that, we have a few other things to get done today.

  • Buy fruit for the relief society birthday breakfast. CHECK
  • Help set up the breakfast. CHECK
  • Eat yummy breakfast with great gals. CHECK
  • Go on visits. CHECK
  • Wash the smashed bannana and lasagna residue off the couch covers. CHE- not done yet, but I SO love being able to throw these kinds of messes into the washing machine, and as soon as I move the current load to the dryer, I will be doing that.
  • Break up the war that brooklyn and diego have declared on each other today. CHECK.
  • Early naptime. CHECK!
  • Sigh about how lovely it would be to have a furnished dream home and new car in Sonoma.
  • Clean my house for just in case the HGTV camera crew pops by this week to tell me I won their 2009 Dream Home Sweepstakes. - Whoa, I better get to work.

Here's a picture of our future home. Pending the big win, of course.
( courtesy of HGTV)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Thank YOU!

100 ways I have been blessed by the kindness of others:

1. You always kept the cookie jar stocked for our visits.
2. You read to me even when I was plenty old enough to read for myself, just because I liked to hear what was so funny about the book you were reading.
3. You took an entire week of leave from work every year to help wrangle immature kids putting on a play.
4. You always let me pick something special from the produce section at the store.
5. You made me a fort under your desk.
6. You always had glazed doughnuts ready to eat after church on fast Sunday.
7. You still get me extra presents and say they are from Santa.
8. You bought me piano lessons.
9. You took me out on sister outings
10. You scratched my back before bed.
11. You let me come have the time of my life at your house two summers in a row.
12. You gave my shoulder rides.
13. You let me come to school with you when I was 5. It was so GREAT!
15. You proudly brought me to work each year for bring your daughter to work day.
16. You drove me everywhere!
17. You made me lemon pepper chicken, even though it was the most expensive kind.
18. You made me alien finger puppets, and a crochet space ship to play with on the big move to California.
19. You always took me out to the latest Disney movie, and then to whatever restaurant had the matching kids meal toys for my birthday.
20. You had me over just to teach me how to make pineapple upside-down cake.
21. You wouldn't let me quit at young womens when I wanted to.
22. You welcomed me like I was already a loved member of your ward.
23. You brought a bag of surprise christmas presents, more than once.
24. You made sure I had babysitting jobs so I could pay for my fancy show choir.
25. You took me to my first job interview, and told me it would be fine.
26. You wrote me the sweetest card when I had Brooklyn.
27. You are a stranger, but you brought me back to shore when I got caught in a rip tide after the life guards went off duty. (sorry mom and dad, I didn't think it would do any good worrying you about that at the time :) )
28. You listened to the spirit, and saved us from many things.
29. You made is mickey mouse pancakes.
30. You took me to Disneyland.
31. You took me to Disneyland, too.
32. You took me to sea world.
33. You took me to the zoo, and bought me an annual pass.
34. You got me treats at the snack bar where you worked.
35. You took us swimming all summer.
34. You took me out to try a blizzard, and didn't mind when I wanted a dipped cone instead.
35. You are SUCH a great friend!
36. You made crustless pumpkin pie for us to share. yummy!
37. You sat next to me in seminary, and have been my friend ever since.
38. You came to my choir concert.
39. You four snuggle me every day!
40. You planned the coolest prom.
41. You made my prom dress.
42. You whipped up my pretty purple formal in a matter of hours.
43. You helped me add sleeves to my choir dress.
44. You didn't think you were too mature to be friends with a teenage girl.
45. You gave me a home/family for a summer, and a job for 2 years.
46. You treated me like a sister.
47. You always did fun things with me, like gluing a puzzle to a water melon.
48. You and I made the craziest cakes.
49. You cried with me when I had a broken heart.
50. You never embarrassed me with the "let's just be friends" line, but actually showed me you wanted to be friends by your friendship.
51. You were the BEST roommates.
52. You let me use the extra meals on your card when my 1 a day meal card was empty.
53. You were patient when I had no idea you were asking me out.
54. You prepared pretty much everything I needed for college.
55. You made me quilt for school.
56. You sent me a lot of letters when I went away to Rexburg.
57. You are the reason this list had to be 100 instead of 50.
58. You didn't tease me about falling on my rear while puddle stomping.
59. You made me the cutest valentine.
60. You invited me, my roommates, and FHE brothers to thanksgiving.
61. You had me over for Sunday dinner every week.
62. You gave that scruffy looking boy who came to take me on a date a good, long stare, just like a dad would have.
63. You made me beautiful cedar chest, just like the ones you made for your daughters.
64. You pitched in and tied up many loose ends to make my reception beautiful.
65. You helped in the kitchen for HOURS without being asked.
66. You helped me pack up my room for college.
67. You invited us to Washington for EFY.
68. You made us feel like family, just because we were renting your basement.
69. You have treated me like a real daughter since the minute we met.
70. You cooked me a bag of chicken to keep in the fridge, so I wouldn't have to cook meat when I had morning sickness.
71. You always said positive things about my piano skills, even though I rarely practiced enough.
72. You spent the first 5 minutes of my piano final helping me figure out how to get liquid foundation out of my carpet.
73. You didn't date a million other girls while you were dating me.
74. You took me to Yellowstone with your family.
75. You were, and are patient when my emotions go hormonally haywire.
76. You went to the store in the middle of the night when I was craving steak and ranch dressing.
77. You made an extra point to tell me I was beautiful when I was pregnant.
78. You took off work to come to prenatal appointments whenever possible.
79. You taught me how to drive.
80. You deal beautifully with my nervous back seat driver habits.
81. You make dinner when I haven't thought about it, and it is past 6:30.
82. You always help me organize something when you visit.
83. You gals went on walks with me every morning.
84. You are a great visiting teaching companion.
85. You are so proud of that funny little associates degree I got.
86. You all take a nap at the same time so I can nap with you.
87. You frequently call to chat. I love that.
88. You are always up for something fun.
89. Your cute laugh makes me laugh.
90. You promised to be with me forever, and you mean it.
91. You let us use one of your air conditioners in the HOT summer.
92. You take care of me when I'm sick.
93. You always have something nice to say.
94. You always tell me when you like a comment I make.
95. You let me go to Spain to sing.
96. You are the sister I never knew I was missing.
97. You treat me like a daughter, instead of a pesky in-law.
98. You will drive any distance to visit us.
99. You brought me on an impromptu adventure to see MoTab.
100. You have done 100,000 other things that I can't put all here, and that many more that I don't even know about.

Monday, February 09, 2009


Time for Brooklyn's check-up and Diego's first trip to the dentist chair.

Brooklyn held super still for the x-rays, exam, and fluoride treatment. However, she was expecting the fluoride to REALLY taste like strawberries, but I guess it wasn't what she expected because when she saw this picture, she said it was like "a gross strawberry that died."

You wont see Diego in that chair, since the 10 seconds he opened his mouth for the dentist to count his teeth had me too busy to take pictures. He was fascinated enough to stay and watch Brooklyn's check-up.

Thanks to the nice staff, and this great treat basket, I'm hoping Diego's next trip will be a little more productive!
No cavities!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Draper Temple Open House

The kids were SO excited about the open house for the new temple in Draper! First we watched a quick video at the church where we parked, then we were bussed to the temple. After the tour, there were cookies and water in the visitors center, then a bus ride back to the cars. It was quite the adventure for the kids!

In case you didn't catch that, here are their favorites:
Brooklyn: Um, the bus that we're on right now.
D: To see all the cows and where people could get baptized.

There are not REALLY cows inside the temple. The 12 oxen that hold up the baptismal font represent the 12 tribes of Israel. Here's roughly what it looks like:

Thoughts: How morbid can I be?

So, I was daydreaming the other day about going to Time out for Women. Cherrie Call would be performing, and by some fantastic twist of fate, I would get to sing one of her songs with her. And I would remember all the words and be so familiar with singing it(from all the times I sing her songs in my car, and while putting the kids to sleep, of course) that it would actually sound decent. Granted, not as cool as Cherrie Call herself, and even in my daydream I imagined people thinking "some people think they can sing, but probably shouldn't", but still it was adequate enough that it wasn't completly mortifying, and Cherrie was nice and very encouraging.
Very quickly, my mind gave me the reality check of "YEAH RIGHT! Not unless you contract advanced terminal cancer and someone in high musical places pitties your tragic existance enough to call in huge favors" And the daydream part of my mind agrees, "Yeah, that's probably true."
Which brings me back to the title. How morbid! Luckily, some other secondary reality check in my brain kicked in, "You can't live your life secretly hoping for someone else to make your life what you want it to be. Make -A-Wish is for people who don't have enough life left to pursue their own dreams, YOU have plenty of life to pursue talents and dreams. You just have to get crackin'!"

So of all the times I have thought of the terminal cancer scenario, this was the first time the other, clearly more healthy thought had a say in the discussion. Which brings me to something I have been thinking about a lot. Watch your thoughts! I've been trying to monitor my thoughts and really try to take control of what thoughts I let hang around, and what I should be pushing out. The Make-A-Wish idea that has been an icon on by brain's desktop is getting a little click and drag to the recycling bin, which will be emptied. Ooh, my brain as a personal there's a metaphor i'll be exploring. Decluttering the desk top, defraging the drive, anti-virus software, ... so much potential there. I just can't resist a good metaphorical hiatus.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

it starts...

Can I borrow your purse, because I emptied it out?


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

And the grammy goes to...

Someone else! And that is just fine- not really going for a grammy these days- or any days in the future, for that. But man, have I told you that I really love music (and apparently hyphens)? Which leads me to another goal I have that I forgot to mention with my resolutions: Writing music! The only thing I have ever written was a very simple piano piece for 6th grade theory class. Writing an actual song is going to be a bit more challenging, but I just have to do it. I know I need to be developing musical talents, I know it! It's not just that I enjoy music, and that it relaxes me, and absolutley touches my heart, and can change my mood in minutes, and song lyrics stick to me like nothing else. Those are all fine, but what really tells me that I need to be active in doing musical stuff is the very real and unrelenting ache in the bottom of my chest when I taste the sweetness of other people's musical gifts.

When Jenny Oaks Baker (she's about my age you know?) played the violin BEAUTIFULLY and I realized she was good enough to attended Juliard* (*whoa!) at the age of 19:Impressed in my head, tiny ache in my heart.

When Cherrie Call stood on stage and played guitar and sang some of my favorite songs that I didn't know were by her, and sounded just as amazing in person as on CD: My heart was uplifted, and yet ached, and I wanted to hear more.

When Janice Kapp Perry, the woman who wrote the first song I ever sang in public, and a LOT of the songs I sing to my babies, sang to us and told us how she hadn't written a song until she was older, and various other musical heights she reached that she never fathomed would be part of her life : I was inspired, I never thought of writing a song, I felt determined and achy, but excited!

So i've been brainstorming songs, and the more I do it, the more ideas I get. I am nowhere near being piano literate, but practicing gives me musical insight too. Same with the little bits and peices I am learning about guitar. I'm excited to see what comes of this new goal. It's so intriguing!

And it has been occuring to me that the way my brain functions almost completely in metaphors, though occasionally random, might be just right for coming up with lyrics.

That's it for my thoughts, no news, but I do have a reccomendation for silliness: I did my hair in a completly crazy way to make the kids laugh while doing our chores this morning, and it made the chores a little less tedious, and a lot more giggly.
Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you.

Harold B. Lee